Page 11 - Summer2011

Caustic Commentary

photos downloaded from the law firm website, while the other January, the FDA issued a warning letter to the makers of the
half rated college yearbook photos of the same individuals relaxation beverage Drank, saying the melatonin it contains
taken an average of thirty-three years earlier. The researchers is an unapproved food additive (FoodNavigator-USA.com,
found that the managing partners whose faces were ranked May 19, 2011). There’s just one little problem with banning
the highest for dominance and facial maturity tended to lead melatonin from the food supply—it means that logically all
firms with higher profits. This also held true with the partner’s other hormones should be banned as well, such as genistein
yearbook photos (U of T Magazine, Spring 2011, Vol 38, No 3). derived from soy, added to bread, diet replacement drinks,
This study provides a good indication that children blessed to salad dressings and many other food products.
be born into WAPF families today, nourished in such a way to
express optimal facial (and intellectual) characteristics, will THE LIVER OF BAKED PIG
be the leaders of the future. Our thanks to an astute member for noticing this blurb about
a March 1968 National Geographic photo: “Riding a king-
STARVATION OF THE UNBORN size board, the 325-pound [Tongan king] Taufa’ahau surfs in
One hundred obese mothers-to-be will be given the anti- Pacific combers.” The photographer, the late Luis Marden,
diabetic drug Metformin as observed that low calories
part of a three-year study were not of high importance
“to tackle obesity rates and in Tonga. “Sauntering youths
reduce the number of difficult call out to a passing beauty,
births.” Patients at Liverpool ‘Foi’atelolo, ta omu’a mata
Women’s Hospital will be mahina hopo!’ (O fat liver full
given the drug to reduce the of oil, let us go and watch the
food supply to their unborn moonrise!)” Noted Marden,
babies, although it will not “The liver of a baked pig is
help the mothers themselves to the choice morsel reserved
lose weight. Leading the trial, for chiefs, and so fond are the
senior lecturer in obstetrics, Tongans of fat and oily food
Dr. Andrew Weeks, said: “It that any right-minded Tongan
is about trying to improve girl is enormously pleased at
outcomes in pregnancy for such flattery” (National Geo-
women who are overweight” graphic, November 2007).
(May 11, 2011). We’d like for Dr. Weeks to explain how starv- Note the fine physiques on all the surfers in the photo, not
ing the developing fetus can help improve outcomes or do just the plus-sized king.
anything but create misery for these poor souls.
WHITE BREAD AND PASTEURIZED MILK
RELAXATION BROWNIES WAPF member John Myser has uncovered a copy of the
The latest craze in nutraceuticals is the melatonin-enhanced Northwestern Health Journal from June 1929. The first page
brownie. Sold as Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies, the features a letter promoting the use of pasteurized milk as a
pastries are marketed as a “delicious chocolate alternative to protection against milk-borne disease, along with the names
medication and harmful narcotics to help you safely relax and of local pasteurizing dairies. “We advocate the use of safe
fall asleep.” Two Massachusetts mayors have called for a ban [pasteurized] milk as we believe it to be the best health-
on the products, and Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) has asked building food available and should be included in the diet
the FDA to clarify its regulatory position on food additives as of adults as well as children.” The rest of the issue promotes
melatonin-laced foods and beverages gain in popularity. Last white bread as an “essential” in the diet. “The unjustified war

SUMMER 2011 Wise Traditions 11

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