April is National Soyfoods Month. Given all the hype, soy must be good for something, right? Absolutely. The miracle bean would be very good indeed for politicians with the zipper problem.
The soy industry apparently agrees, because on March 17, it held a special Soyfoods Lunch on Capitol Hill for some 200 members of Congress, government officials and industry representatives. Billed as a way to showcase the “health benefits of soy,” the Eighth Annual Congressional Soyfoods Lunch may have had the side benefit of controlling Capitol Hill lust. Soy, after all, in Asia is eaten heavily in Zen monasteries to help monks maintain their vows of celibacy. It’s also featured heavily on the menu in Japanese homes where the husband has been unfaithful. Seems that wives know that soy can kill the desire, the ability, . . . or both.
As for US politicians, too bad Bill Clinton didn’t eat it. Not because it would have prevented his heart disease problems – even the American Heart Association (AHA) has backed off from its pro soy position – but because it might have downed his infamous libido. Accordingly, let’s urge Bill Clinton to admit the truth to the American public. The words I’d put in his mouth are, “If that woman and I had eaten soy, I’d have saved a lot of embarrassment to my presidency.”
Sadly, the American Soy Association(ASA) has a stereotypical pro soy message for the public. “ASA’s Congressional Soyfoods Lunch is a unique occasion for the U.S. soybean industry to provide Members of Congress and other government officials with the chance to taste the ever-expanding selection of soyfoods available today,” said ASA president Rob Joslin. Those taste treats included all sorts of fake steaks – er mis-steaks – and other soybean ingredients dressed up, brightened, flavored and textured into approximations of Thai Beef Salad, Mediterranean Chicken and Vegetable Pasta, Sautéed Broccoli in Garlic Sauce,and other pseudo pfoods.
The point of it all was for attendees to hear ASA spin doctors tout the “health benefits of soy” and learn how they could help acquaint the American public with said benefits. Sadly, the truth is another soy story, with soy linked to malnutrition, digestive distress, thyroid disorders, immune system breakdown, ADD/ADHD, even heart disease and cancer, especially breast cancer. Soy also causes or contributes to reproductive problems in both men and women, including infertility, loss of libido and other problems. The Israeli Health Ministry, French Food Agency and German Institute of Risk Assessment have all issued warnings about soy. Here in the U.S., the marketing of soy is business as usual, moving full speed ahead all year long and especially during April. Too bad the mis-information isn’t just an April Fool’s Day joke.
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